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Pink Jazz

by Suicide Helpline

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1.
Living is a curse, I think about it every day. I wake up tired in the morning And spend the restless night awake. Yeah, living is a curse. I wanna get you to deride That awful feeling that you want it, And live in infamy inside. And if you saw it through my eyes, What would you say? You'd say that hell is a version of apathy and sympathy. You'd say that hell is a version of apathy and sympathy. You'd say that hell is a version of apathy and sympathy. Hell is a version of finite now. And if you saw it through my eyes, What would you say? You'd say living is a curse I wanna get you to deride That awful feeling that you want it And feel the enemy inside. Well, living is a curse And I can feel it every day. And when I wake up I am mourning This sick procession to the grave. And if you saw it through my eyes, What would you say? You'd say that hell is a version of apathy and sympathy. You'd say that hell is a version of apathy and sympathy. You'd say that hell is a version of apathy and sympathy. Hell is a version of finite now. And if you saw it through my eyes, What would you say?
2.
Every day in daylight, I'm being murdered. Coming through the stereo, I'm being murdered. Jumping up and down like I'm being murdered. Ohhhhh. Steady on the downbeat, I'm being murdered. Coming through in stereo, I'm being murdered. Heavy on the bassline, I'm being murdered. Ohhhhh. First song when they told me to fight. In our hearts we scream, "Oh! Oh!" So sing along when we tell you to fight In the last song we're gonna play here tonight. Horror dreams in daylight, I'm being murdered. Summoned up in stereo, I'm being murdered. Burning up my insides, I'm being murdered. Ohhhhh. Terror comes in real time, I'm being murdered. Torture from the stereo, I'm being murdered. Choruses of vain lies, I'm being murdered. Ohhhhh. First song when they told me to fight. In our hearts we scream, "Oh! Oh!" So sing along when we tell you to fight In the last song we're gonna play here tonight. Every day in daylight, I'm being murdered. Coming from the stereo, I'm being murdered. Tearing up my insides I'm being murdered. It's horrid, but you never know. I'm being murdered Steady on the downbeat, I'm being murdered. Coming through in stereo, I'm being murdered. Heavy on the bassline, I'm being murdered. Ohhhhh. First song when they told me to fight. In our hearts we scream, "Oh! Oh!" So sing along when we tell you to fight In the last song we're gonna play here tonight.
3.
I am not an idol, I am not a model, I am not a hero, I am the scum. I am not a genius and I'm nobody famous. I am just a prostitute, I am the scum. And every day in the morning when I open my eyes, A voice says, "Welcome to the rest of your life." It makes me shiver for a moment and I want to die. And every day when I wake up with the sun in my eyes, A voice says, "Welcome to the rest of your life." It makes me shiver like there's something welling up inside. I haven't made a conquest, I never made a protest, But i have a sense of privilege, I am the scum. I've never kept a promise And I've routinely been dishonest. I might as well just cut my wrists, I am the scum. And every day in the morning when I open my eyes, A voice says, "Welcome to the rest of your life." It makes me shiver for a moment and I want to die. And every day when I come to with the sun in my eyes, A voice says, "Welcome to the rest of your life." It makes me shiver like there's something welling up inside. I am not a martyr, I have no sense of honor, I am an imposter, I am the scum. i don't wanna seek vengeance, I have no need for friendship, i just wanna get too drunk to fuck. I am the scum. And every day in the morning when I open my eyes, A voice says, "Welcome to the rest of your life." It makes me shiver for a moment and I want to die. And every day when I come to as the sun hits my eyes, A voice says, "Welcome to the rest of your life." It makes me shiver like there's something boiling deep inside. Ohhhh.
4.
Never thought I'd hook up with a girl like you. Fumble in the dark, tell me what to do. I've never felt abandoned like I do in this place. I just want to come out of this dumb alcohol haze. We never talk about it and we keep it inside. I want to start it over and let go of my pride. Going on in vain, that sounds like something I'd do. When all I really want is to go down on you. The feeling isn't real but we keep it all inside. Can we murder our hearts and abandon our pride? We're these versions of ourselves, these inanimate beings Bathed in dull synthetic lights, we won't remember a thing. And I hear your breathless voice and I guide your hand in vain To my sympathetic heart, I'll never do it again. Nothing is forever, soon it goes like air Into the abyss, I know the world's unfair. I hold onto the feeling like it all was true When all I ever want is to go down on you. I can't go on without it, and I feel you writhe Underneath the covers of wherever we lie. I finger you in vain, it sounds like something I'd do. When all I really want is to go down on you. The feeling isn't real but we keep it all inside. Can we murder our hearts and abandon our pride? We're these versions of ourselves, these inanimate beings Bathed in dull synthetic lights, we won't remember a thing. And I hear your breathless voice and I guide your hand in vain To my sympathetic heart, I'll never do it again. Nothing is forever and this night's a maze. I want to talk about it but it's quarter to eight. I watch you as you sleep, it sounds like something I'd do. When all I really want is to go down on you.
5.
Chemicals 02:29
Well I remember a time when I lost a piece of me. I saw a picture of life And I knew what I would be. And now what am I doing here, doing here, doing here Fucked up on chemicals, chemicals, chemicals? What am I doing here, doing here, doing here Fucked up on chemicals? When I know it means nothing to me. Well I know it ain't right And I know that nothing comes for free But I think I saw myself And I knew what I would be. And now what am I doing here, doing here, doing here Fucked up on chemicals, chemicals, chemicals? What am I doing here, doing here, doing here Fucked up on chemicals? When I know it means nothing to me. Well I remember a time, It must have been 1993. I saw a shadow of myself And I knew what I must be. And now what am I doing here, doing here, doing here Fucked up on chemicals, chemicals, chemicals? What am I doing here, doing here, doing here Fucked up on chemicals? When I know it means nothing to me. And baby I'm still free. Oh leave it to me To be the acid queen.
6.
I Don't Care 02:01
Another morning with the sun in my eyes. I get this feeling when I wake sometimes Like there is nothing in the world out there. If it was gone, I mean, what would I care? Come on, think about it, I don't care. And if you start to doubt it, I don't care. Well I could live without it. I don't care about you. Hey! Hey! I took a vow when they told me my name, I'd be an outsider, I'd never change I just played dead when they found me alive. I'm apathetic, just look in my eyes. Come on, think about it, I don't care. And if you start to doubt it, I don't care. Well I could live without it. I don't care about you. Hey! Hey!
7.
Hey turn away from our light in the stars. I turn on myself or whatever I was. Her face kinda vague, tell me what do I do? Just fall to the ground with the people like you? You are morons. You are morons. You are morons. I'm talking to you. You are morons. You are morons. You are morons. I'm talking to you. Her eyes were ablaze and her breathing was slow. It looked like a plague, tell me what do I know? We danced in a daze to the beat of her heart. She can't die in vain, take me back to the start. You are morons. You are morons. You are morons. I'm talking to you. You are morons. You are morons. You are morons. I'm talking to you.
8.
X Youth 03:14
Get up late like, go to flippin work right? Hours lay before me. Tell me, am I alright? But it's not right, I'm dissolving inside. And it's a disorder, something like a half life. And it's over, everything is over. I'm counting down the days and it feels like a coma. Am I going nowhere? So what if I don't care? I stand amidst the faces, somehow I feel like I'm not there. And my body starts to fade, but I hear your voice in me. Can you feel it in the beat of my heart? In the beat of my heart? In the beat of my heart, X Youth? And it's over. I resign and it's over. I'm counting down all my heroes; Just an archive of zeroes. There I fall in the stage light, choking on something inside. I'll never know what it feels like to make it out alive... Say it's alright, everything is alright. Wake up every morning, shudder at the daylight. But I'm late right? Got to get to work, right? And its a disorder, something like a half life. I feel confusion, terrible confusion. There you stand before me, are you an illusion? Always in the past, we never met up last week. Every time I call you, all I get is your machine. And I feel so lost today And my consciousness is vague. Can you feel it in the beat of my heart? In the beat of my heart? In the beat of my heart, X Youth? I'm counting down the days as my desire turns to hate, And I'm curling up inside and I'm drowning in the waves, And I can feel you calling inside, And I feel you cover up my angel wings, And I accept my final breath. I scream at God in vain, I don't believe in anything. I don't believe that I'll burn in vain But I'll burn these thoughts inside of me. This darkness is a part of me, The sickness comes in violent waves. Let's burn the fucker down I start to I scream I start to shake. Can you feel it in the beat of my heart? In the beat of my heart? In the beat of my heart, X Youth?
9.
It's too dark. I feel nothing inside. It's too dark, It's like there's nowhere to hide. It's too dark, can't help but feel it all end anymore. I go out I drink 'til nothing is fine. I stay out 'til I have nothing to hide. I go out. One day I swear I won't go home anymore. I need a gun. I wanna feel it revolve. A real gun, the cold steel and all. It's so wrong, why do I need it to feel calm here in the world? When it's you who lays the blame, And our children lay the blame, Like our fathers laid the blame, we're done with the war. There's no wars, there's only battles. And there's no wars, it's just a battle. And there's no wars, just upwards battles. And there's no wars, ohhh. No wars, this all meant nothing. And there's no wars, just deaths for nothing. And there's no wars, just frail nothing. And there's no wars, ohhh. It's too dark. My body's dead in the light. It's too dark, It's splayed out on its side. It's too dark, so nobody will know me when I'm gone. I'm going out, concealed deep in the night. I'm staying out, I'm just this alien, right? I'm going out. This voice it beckons me on and on and on. The needle hurts, but pain is nothing at all. My brain hurts, but now I feel a calm. This life hurts, are there no traces of solace in this world. When our brothers, they don't care. When our sisters, they don't care. When Our children, they won't care. We're done with the war. There's no wars, there's only battles. And there's no wars, it's just a battle. And there's no wars, just upwards battles. And there's no wars, ohhh. No wars, this all meant nothing. And there's no wars, just deaths for nothing. And there's no wars, just frail nothing. And there's no wars, ohhh.
10.
Guns firing in the air, We're bored and we just don't care. We've grown up with it, All such a waste of time. Those boys are no friends of mine. I've got a girl and she's always in a rage. Her tongue is her own 12 gauge. And any boy would say, "lord I'm out of here" The second that her glare appears. Her words echo in my head, Her voice makes me pass out dead. I listen to her thoughts just to pass the time, That sickness creeping up inside. It's better for her just to be mad at me, She's cold to our history. She'd rather be alone than to never feel, It's all that she knows is real. My little sullen girl, Battling all the world. I know I burden her all the time. My little sullen girl, So bitter at all the world. I know I burden her all the time. Guns firing in the air, A storm brewing up in her head. It's like she could be lost in another time And doomed in another life. A bomb went off in a field, But curse anything that's real. My girl she could be lost in her head for days, Her sight like it went away. Oh let me tell you, things do not ever change, Her world is a masquerade. She can't control her mask and what it reveals, So curse anything that's real. And I can tell you I think she's out of her mind. She wishes I was dead all the time. She'd just say, "dust to dust" and a little prayer. So kill me, I just don't care. My little sullen girl, Battling all the world. I know I burden her all the time. My little sullen girl, So bitter at all the world. I know I burden her all the time.
11.
You think you roam but you're trapped in a cage. You've been alone since the dawn of our age. Abandon hope like you're not even there, Look up above for the spark of despair. There's stars on fire.... The TV's on but you don't hear the words, And every day starts to feel like a curse. Try to run but you can't get away, We all will burn for our passive mistakes. There's stars on fire.... Undo my own empire, We start to burn with our carnal desires. Undo my own empire, We flip them off with our carnal desires. There's stars on fire... An age in hell and you spent it alone. You shrug it off like don't even know. You think it's dark, you're abandoned by light. You see no spark? Just look up at the sky. There's stars on fire.... Undo my own empire, We start to burn with our carnal desires. Undo my own empire, We flip them off with our carnal desires. There's stars on fire...
12.
Wired 02:22
I check your name and you're already there, You're like a fire that is burning in her hair. I draw the line but you've already crossed, You are the lie that determines the loss. I check your name and you're already there, You are ignited and burning in her hair. I draw the line but you've already crossed, You are the lie that determines the loss. You are the price that determines the cost. Put out the fire by fanning it off. Now I feel wired, wired, I feel wired, wired. I feel wired, wired, I feel wired, wired. I feel wired, wired, I feel wired, wired. I feel wired, wired is all. Hey hey hey! I check your name and you're already there, You are the light that is burning in her hair. I draw the line but you've already crossed, You are the gains that determine the loss. I check your name and you're already there, You are the fire that illuminates her hair. I draw the line but you've already crossed, You are the shine that determines the gloss. You are the lie that determines the cost. You're always right in every instance. Now I feel wired, wired, I feel wired, wired. I feel wired, wired, I feel wired, wired. I feel wired, wired, I feel wired, wired. I feel wired, wired is all. Hey hey hey!
13.
The springtime is murder, and the light sets us behind. I feel like dying all the time in that arrogant state of mind. And now I feel her; see through her, like a ghost that's left to find. I feel like dying all the time in that arrogant state of mind. And now it's over, it's over, but which one of us stays behind? I know I'm feeling low in the atmosphere of a life I've justified. And now it's over, it's over, so which one of us stays behind? I know I'm breathing slow and the atmosphere is full of despair tonight. I'll do it. She was an heiress to a fortune of decline. That fatal heiress, she was a friend of mine. But I wouldn't know what to do with her if I found her. And the brave ones that failed my heir keep pulling her along. I wouldn't know what to do with her if I found her. And the brave ones that failed my heir sit fading in the ambience alone. The springtime is murder in a life that's lost. I find I feel like dying all the time in that arrogant state of mind. And now I see her; reach to her in the darkness, she declines. I feel I'm dying all the time in that arrogant state of mind. And now it's over, it's over, but which one of us stays behind? I know I'm feeling cold in the atmosphere like it's 1965. And now it's over, it's over, so which one of us stays behind? I know I'm breathing low and the atmosphere is the gloom I've justified. I'll do it. She was an heiress to a fortune of decline. That fatal heiress, she was a friend of mine. But I wouldn't know what to do with her if I found her. And the brave ones that failed my heir keep pulling her along. I wouldn't know what to do with her if I found her. And the brave ones that failed my heir sit fading in the ambience alone.
14.
I think I'm gonna be sick, Somebody get me outta here. I've watched my fantasies fall, I've seen myself disappear. I think I'm gonna be sick, Oh take me to the hospital. 'Cause all these phantoms of youth Are barely phantoms at all. And all the mirrors say, "The fear and pain it takes its toll." I'm lost to the years and maybe more. Light it up, fuck it up, I know it's true. I'm lost in the middle of a dream with you. Ohhhh... I think I'm gonna be sick, Somebody help me to the floor. 'Cause all the drugs that I brought Are not my friends anymore. I think I'm gonna be sick, I'm gonna die in this place. I watched the ceiling cave in, I've seen myself slip away. And all the mirrors say, "The fear and pain it takes control." I'm lost to the years and maybe more. Light it up, fuck it up, I know it's true. I'm lost in the middle of a dream with you. Ohhhh... I think I'm gonna be sick, Somebody get me outta here. For all the pain that I've caused, I wanna just disappear. I think I'm gonna be sick, Oh get me to the hospital. 'Cause all these ghosts from my past Are barely phantoms at all. And all the mirrors say, "The fear and pain it takes its toll." I'm lost to the years and maybe more. Light it up, fuck it up, I know it's true. I'm lost in the middle of a dream with you. Ohhhh...

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released April 25, 2017

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Suicide Helpline Edmonton, Alberta

Suicide Helpline is a Glam Punk band from Alta.
Influenced by the year 1977 and whatever your little sister is into for Punk-Rock.

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